Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
