your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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