We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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