You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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