No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
