Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
