Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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