Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
