before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
