Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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