Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you didnt know i had herpes?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
