if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
