good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
