her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
