He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
