Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize
