You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
As shirtless as possible
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
