I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
