can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
