I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
