Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
