my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Terrible idea I love it
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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