If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
