Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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