What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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