I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he fucked my hip out of place.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
