No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
