where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Pooping to opera.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
