he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
