Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
