didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
tequila makes me forget i have legs
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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