Is it normal to miss your booty call?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
