Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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