Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
