Don't you send me to vm
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
