So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
