im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
