I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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