He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
