the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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