i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
