Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
