nut hugger
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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