she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
