she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
