i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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