We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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