I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
