Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
