Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
