What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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